Managing Leadership^®

Management observers have much to say about the personal characteristics of managers. This is often parlayed into discussions of the importance of communication - especially, listening skills - and relationship building. The ability to build support behind specific initiatives and, more generally, to generate personal and organizational loyalty receives much attention, and it is well-deserved.

It seems sometimes, though, to add up to an awful lot of pressure on us to be the hero to all of our constituencies, or stakeholders. And this points to another truth to contend with as we struggle to satisfy and please everyone: we can’t do it.

So, we have to make choices. Many of those choices please people. And they simultaneously displease others. It is in this fact that we should understand how those choices define who we are.

Along these lines, consider the following remark I made in a comment to a recent post:

It’s always seemed to me that you know a man not only by his friends, but by his enemies. It takes character to make - and to keep - both.”

While I stand by it, I immediately regretted the sort of sophomoric coffee-shop bravado of its expression. Consequently, I was glad to see Michael Wade’s post on this general topic at Execupundit; please click over to view it; these brief essays are always well worth the time, and this particular one offers a welcome opportunity to elaborate on the above comment.

Michael describes a person who was consistently required to make hard decisions that had hard consequences on people’s lives. And yet he handled himself, the decisions, and those affected by them with dignity and respect. As a result, he both stood for something and made few enemies.

This is an important lesson, one that warrants greater discussion and examination. The moral inherent in Michael’s post is hard to dispute, and I’m glad to offer it as a contrast to the “damn the torpedoes, full speed ahead” sentiment evident in my observation, quoted above.

But let me just unfold this issue one step further: Certainly, it is best to find positive expressions for measuring and defining ourselves. That is why the adage that you know a person by his or her friends is so effective, even a positive call to reflective action for many.

However, in life and work, the very making of a friend is commonly done at the cost of making an enemy. We often are required, for example, to make a decision to back one initiative rather than an alternative, promote one person over another, or even to support one side of a debate at the expense of an opposing view.

Even merely identifying ourselves as generally one sort of person can provoke startlingly troubling reactions from some who object to that sort. These kinds of events can be simultaneously painful to navigate and impossible to avoid. You must make a choice.

How will you do it? Will you base it on what is best for

• the organization?
• the matter at hand?
• a broader moral system or ethical code?
• your career?
• the other parties involved?
• your relationships with them?
• your reputation?

The two key factors here are these:

1. The basis upon which you determine to make your decision says something of fundamental importance about you, and
2. When you make that decision you will inescapably also make, to one degree or another, both friends and enemies. Your ability to endure this also makes a profound statement about your character as a person and as a manager.

You may be able to manage relationships and your own outlook in such situations much like Michael’s exemplar. That is worth addressing, also. But the fact remains that you will alienate some with each decision you make. You will develop a reputation for a specific sort of character that will give some encouragement and others pause.

What will you do about that? Will that consideration alone influence your choice? Why? How? (This US presidential election year offers a good opportunity to consider how politicians are compelled to deal with these questions.)

If there is loneliness in an organization, it is not exclusively at the top, but in this dilemma, faced by everyone in it making decisions and taking stands that affect others. Can you live with that?

—

Today’s tip: Speaking of having the courage to take a stand - and the consequences that inevitably accompany it - please see this intriguing post at Cultural Offering. Consider what it says in the context of how children and citizens - and employees - where you live and work are socialized to your culture.

—

If you look at the contents section on the sidebar of the main page of this site, you will see a listing of the article series that have been published here. You can click through to view summaries of the pieces, and then read the full series or selections that are of most interest to you. Enjoy!

And while you are, please also subscribe by email or RSS reader - thanks!

Similar Posts:

• Foreseeable future
• Standing up
• Chameleons
• Hives of activity
• Leaders without leadership

Technorati Tags: Management, personal characteristics, manager, communication, listening, relationship, organization, loyalty, stakeholder, Michael Wade, decision, consequence, culture